Beware, Winky is Back

I am not sure Santa got my letter pleading for him to either not send an elf this year or to send any elf but Winky. Winky has been terrorizing our house for the last several years. Then the note arrived saying Winky was on his way. My plan to intercept him and to mail him back to the North Pole. Saturday the boys found a letter on the front step from Santa announcing Winky arrival, but no Winky. The boys looked every where and couldn't find the darn elf. Later, after we had forgotten about him, I figured he got lost in travel and ended up an another family's house, too bad for them. 

After dinner we started getting out the Christmas Decorations. Lucas bought me a new tree to replace the one that got ruined over the summer. The boys opened it and started laughing. I guess Winky knew if I had come across him first he had a first class trip home so he decided to hide in with the Christmas tree. So far he has behaved but we did find him this morning with the headset on surfing Youtube. 

Black Friday

So it has been years since I have participated in the madness of Black Friday. There has just been nothing that was really worth it to get up that early and stand in line. I worked for Walmart for two years and was very lucky to never work Black Friday morning. 

This year we decided to brave Home Depot. They had an awesome Christmas tree on sale, a long with other stuff. So we arrived at 4:50 am and the line was already clear across the front of their building. I was actually surprised at the line. The last time I did this it was at Target and there was more of a mob in front of the doors and not a line. 

Shortly after we arrived there was a few Home Depot employees walking down the line with coffee and cups in hand. It was freezing outside and they were all smiles. Donuts followed the coffee. On our way inside the store we discover that the first thirty feet of the line they had set up patio heaters for the people in line to stay warm. Talk about above and beyond. 

There was no pushing or shoving. We were greeted by several employees and did not find a grumpy one in the store. Check out was a breeze. I am not sure if this is the same with the other stores but Albany Home Depot does Black Friday right and takes care of their customers. I would definitely consider braving black Friday there again. 

I want what I want.

For those who follow me on Facebook you might have heard that the head gasket in my minivan blew. This is neither a simple fix nor an inexpensive one. Our mechanic shook his head and recommended that we take it home and park it. This is how my week started. Mondays are bad enough without added stressers. The rest of the day was spent canceling appointments and rearranging things so I wouldn’t have to drive anywhere for at least a week. Knowing on Monday that I would not have a car for the rest of the week was not fun for me. I like being able to run errands and escape my house every now and then. It also cost me a photo shoot.

Anyway, fast forward to Saturday morning. As much and a new car (new to us) was not in the budget only having one car really isn't an option. Lucas works in Salem and I had to borrow a car to go to work on Friday. I knew what I wanted; this was my chance to upgrade my van, if the price is right. After all there are six of us so we need a van.

The van I had my heart set on wasn't all I thought it would be. It was okay but I didn’t fall in love with it. The van I have been driving for eight years has extra features that I have become accustom too. Isn’t it fascinating how we do that, we have it good and think that’s how it should be. Not only that but that’s what we want. The van we looked at was a base model and a thousand over what I really wanted to spend, but it was a minivan.

Lucas wasn’t sold on the minivan and honestly neither was I but seemed like our best option even though it was more than what I wanted to finance. So we looked at some PT Cruisers and while they were nice had similar mpg as the minivans. It only seated 5 and was the same price. We did discuss it for a minute then another car caught Lucas’ eye. A 2002 Pontiac Bonneville that had a bunch of bells, better mpg and whistles was under our budget. The problem was that it didn’t seat more than five and it wasn’t the minivan that I had wanted. He took it for a test drive while I sat in the passenger seat fuming. I knew I had lost and the minivan replacement was not going to be a minivan. After all the Bonneville was the perfect blend of a guy car and sedan rolled into one. Did I mention it has turbo boosters?

We went out to breakfast to discuss the choice that at this point really wasn’t a choice. I told him that we would just get the Bonneville which we did wind up doing. I was fairly upset but Lucas had a shiny new car.

Well Sunday I had to drive it for work. It’s actually a fun car to drive and while I didn’t get my minivan we actually did okay. We were able to talk down the price a little bit and didn’t have to finance as much as we thought we would. While it doesn’t fit all six of us we can still take two cars if we need to.

The lesson if you’re still reading this is while I want what I want, it’s not always what I need. When will I learn. 

Cub Scouts and Bridges

It was a no school day so our Pack had scheduled a field trip to see Portland's Bridges. Timmy rode the train with his den, Nate and I decided we wanted to drive up so we did. I have learned to cherish the time spent with my children individually. Nate has quite the sense of humor and when we are not butting heads he is pretty fun to be around. We got to Omsi and walked to meet our group. It was a lot of fun. Maybe we will all ride the train next time. 

The older kids were able to go underneath the bridge while the younger ones stayed on top. They were able to see what happens when the bridges open. It was really cool.  

Apparently I am mean and unfair. Oh well get use to it.

I love my kids. They didn't happen by accident. We actually had to try and have them. So I didn't come into parenthood accidentally like some do. It was on purpose and by choice. I knew I was going to have to make sacrifices and never quite have privacy ever again. It was still something that I happily ran towards.

So fast forward ten years and I have become mean and unfair according to some parents and my children. Oh well. They can deal with it. My kids do not have TVs in their room and have limited electronic time each day and only if their chores are done. Oh yes, my children have chores. They have things that they are expected to do around the house. If things are not done then they don't get to do fun stuff. Even my two year old is expected to throw her diapers away (we are starting to potty train), put her dishes in the sink and help pick up her toys. 

We all want to our children to have more than what we had growing up. I think where parents differ is on how they define more. To some its more stuff and less responsibility. And that is their right I guess. I actually thought about this quite a bit this week. What was the more that I want to give my kids? 

My conclusion was that it had nothing to do with stuff at all. I want them to have more opportunities than I did. I want them to try more things than I was able to do. I want them to find more out of life earlier than I did. I want them to have more.

My daughter Amazes Me

Lucas and Nathanial were recently gone for the weekend. They left Friday night and came home on Monday. What was the first thing she did? Well I was expecting her to go straight for her Dad but she ran by him yelling My Thanul and gave her brother Nathanial a great big hug. She did finally get around to loving on her dad. I just thought it was cute.

The Moving Wall

The first time I saw The Wall I was 18 and in Washington D.C. The last time the Moving Wall visited Albany Oregon I missed it. I started out this morning taking my boys to help scouts from our pack put out American Flags around the Albany Veteran's  Memorial. If you ever have a chance I would highly recommend checking this memorial out. 

The boys got to look up their great uncle on the wall. We got to talk about the sacrifice that some make so that we have the freedoms that we have today. It was a moment that I don't think we will forget. 

Will I ever learn?

My last post I commented that we were going to Silver Creek Falls with our Cub Scout Pack.  My plan had been to hang out at camp while the scouts did their hike. This was not what I wanted to do but due to a left ankle injury and a right foot injury I felt like it would be very bad for me to do any hiking. I was

scheduled to work the following day and really needed to be able to walk. I've been telling Lucas for over a week that he needed to make sure I didn't hike, as much as I wanted to. I've never been to Silver Creek Falls and have been looking forward to it since I received the Pack Calendar in the fall. Apparently the only way I wasn't going to hike was to stay home. Thankfully we were running late and missed our group and decided to take the short hike. It still took us a couple hours and when we were done I wasn't doing much walking but couldn't wait to see the photos I took.

A few things I learned on this trip. 

• My daughter can walk a mile and a half in flip flops without complaining.
• Apparently my boys can't. 
• My boys really need their own walking sticks
• Always, I repeat Always bring the sling, even if you think it's a waste it comes in handy and can be a life saver.
• I really need to get my butt in shape.

So with the out of state move sometime in the next year I have started a leap list. On my leap list are items like. . . 

• Silver Creek Falls
• Art and Air Festival
• Wilson Wildlife Park
• Crater Lake
• Multnomah Falls, and the list can go on and on. Things I either haven't done yet or things I want to make sure to do again before I leave.

Silver Creek Falls - one of those places I can't believe I haven't been yet. What took me so long? Now I want to go back when I am not hurt. I am not sure I will be moving tomorrow but I have never walked behind a waterfall before.

Even though we started out trying to catch up with the scouts it was kinda nice to be by ourselves since I was moving so slow. I had decided last minute to bring Kassie's sling which I keep going back and forth if I should keep it or pass it on. Let me tell you I think I will be keeping it for a while. It came in handy and Lucas wasn't at all shy about wearing purple. I am so glad that he came along because I would not have been able to do it by myself. 

Kassie started off so strong. About an hour in she was tired but still never complained. She did like being carried though. Shortly later she was passed out. It must be nice to be able to sleep anywhere. I think she did end of getting pretty heavy, amazing how they gain 10lbs when they pass out. This allowed them to rest and me to catch up. It was very sunny so the coolness of the cave was refreshing. Funny, every time I caught up they moved on so I didn't get much time to rest until we were done. 

 Oh well, Monday's just around the corner, right? 

We Survived Another Year

1st Day of School

End of the Year

1st Day of School

End of the Year

School is out for the summer. It's been a year. My first and third graders are now second and fourth graders. Tuesday we had their Cub Scout cross over celebration and I am now the proud parent of a Wolf Cub and a Webelos Scout. Both boys have grown so much, Kassie too. By September 3rd I will be the mother of a 2, 8, and a 10 year old. Why does time go by so fast. I keep asking myself this but never come up with the answer. 

   

 As we start the summer we look back at the adventures that we had. We all enjoyed a wonderful year of Awana and Cub Scouts. While Awana is out for the summer some say the Scouting fun is just about to begin. Before this year I would have agreed but since the change in packs we have had adventures all year. We have sold popcorn and chocolate along with coffee. Lucas spent a lot of time with them this year at the booths and I am so thankful for that. In October we visited the Bonneville dam, Fish Hatchery and had a pumpkin carving contest. The Bonneville trip was awesome and it was followed by a trip to the fish hatchery and Multnomah Falls. We made it to the hatchery. We saw some huge fish. It was really cool and I got some awesome landscape photos. We did have to skip out on the Falls because Kassie got sick. I had brought a change of clothes and pjs. By the time we headed home she was in just a diaper, poor girl. She still gets car sick.

       

November I had the privilege to attend the Scouting Training conference. The boys had the opportunity to walk in the Veterans Day Parade which is always fun. In December we scouted for food. January the boys learned how to play chess and plant trees (not on the same day :)). February brought Lock-in. This was Tim's first year being able to go. The month ended with a trip to HooDoo. We discovered that 1) Kassie does not like snow, 2) Tennis Shoes are not appropriate snow attire. 3) always bring extra clothes 4) when climbing up a hill of snow you will step in knee deep and 5) before climbing the hill you should make sure there is a dry place to sit when you get to the top, otherwise you have done all that work for nothing and have to come down. It is not advisable to sled with a baby. Oh and I can't forget Blue and Gold. Both boys made rank.

March was full of candy sales so the boys could earn their way to camp. I could not have done it without Lucas. The boys sold back to back some weekends and Nate was a trooper, often doing it when he really didn't want to. April was the derby. I think the boys had the best looking cars there. The end of April we went camping in Newport and the boys went clamming. I however chickened out and took Kassie back to camp. It looked like the boys took a mud bath when they came back. Everyone had fun and I got to spend some time on the beach. May they went hiking and fishing at the fishing derby.

Whats next? This weekend we are going to go to Silver Creek Falls. We decided not to camp but are going to join the group for Saturday. So this year has been full of fun stuff to do at scouts. While we didn't do everything the stuff we did was awesome and the boys really connected this year. I have to give a shout out to the Leadership of Pack 377. They are AWESOME!!!

This started as a blog post about what they did at school this year and ended up being about scouts. Oh well. That's life and the way my brain works. I will write about their school adventures but apparently laundry and dishes do not do themselves. Shouldn't we have robot maids by now? LOL

Change is constant

Change is constant, at least at my house. I honestly change rooms around several times a year. The fact that my living room has been the same for more than a year except for a new chair bugs me but the furniture won't fit any other way. Oh well, can't change my living room around so I changed the background on my blog. Enjoy.

Confession

I cheated.



Friday I had a weak point and did something I knew I should not but at that point in time I really didn't care.



Honestly thought it wouldn't change anything. I didn't matter.



Saturday I woke up feeling like crap. Talk about regret. Don't think I will do it again.



It wasn't even that good.



So Friday night in a moment of weakness I ate a peanut butter cookie. Saturday morning about 2am I woke up with a splitting migraine. All day I felt like crap. I actually didn't start feeling like myself until Monday. It sucked.

What have I learned from this? Much to my dissatisfaction I probably do have a gluten intolerance. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had a migraine which tells me it's been more than a month or two. Oh well back to the gluten free life.

Gluten Free Journey - Bread

A few days ago, on the 28th I gave an update on our journey. We have seen enough positives that we will probably continue doing what we are doing. One of my biggest grips is that I like bread. I don't mind making bread but have yet found a recipe that we all like. Mainly I am the problem. I have not really looked hard and have only tried two different recipes but both breads gave me sulfur burps which are not pleasant for anyone so I got discouraged. Making bread takes work and it didn't seem worth it if I couldn't eat it. Honestly no one else is really missing it and they are liking the variety in their lunches. 

Lucas picked up some Franz Gluten Free bread and I am in love. I am still going to be searching for a recipe that we can all eat because the price tag around $6 for basically 1/2 loaf of bread is what I consider steep but for a treat it will work. Funny thing is before we started this no wheat thing I really did not like sandwiches but the one Lucas made me for lunch on Sunday was sooooo good. :) 

Resolution Check In

So it's April and time for a check in. Unfortunately I am not doing as well as I had hoped.

My Resolutions:

1. Make things more fun - This goes with #7. I am the serious one in my family, if you look at everyone else they are downright silly (hence the name of the blog). I am trying not to be so hard on things and having more fun. This kids appreciate it and we are all having more fun.
2. Spend more time behind my camera - 
3. Write everything down- It is easier to type than to sit and write. I do have a note book and plan on starting this (soon). Things just happen so fast. This project started out of the desire to share my life with my children when they are older. I remember my grandfather telling me stories when I was younger and would so love to have had those written down. Our memories are funny things, some things we cannot let go of and others we cannot hold on to. This is a way for me to hold on to these things, even if they seem random and senseless to the reader. 
4. Blog - Doing better on this one. My goal is to blog at least once a week. Why? Because I would like to take these blog posts and turn them into a book for my kids later.
5. Get rid of useless belongings - I have taken a few boxes to goodwill but have so much more to go.
6. Move more and eat less - Discouraged with this one, we changed our diet and Lucas has lost 20+ lbs and I have not. Now I am nursing a sprained ankle that parts of the day I can hardly put weight on it. Need to reevaluate what I am eating and start writing everything down. 
7. Relax more and Stress Less - See #1
8. Work a Budget - This needs work but we haven't had time to sit down and really work on it. 
9. Read More - So far I have read 3 books this year. Two that were not on the kindle. I am also making my way through the Bible. I am behind on my book club reading but am trying to catch up. 
10. Walk my first 5k - On hold right now until I figure out what is wrong with my ankle. I still want to do one this year. I am signed up for one this month but not sure if I will be able to do with with my ankle the way it is.
11. Have more date nights - Really wish there was more time and we weren't so busy. We did get out for my birthday with friends. I would love some one on one time. Think I might just have to take him out to lunch one of these days.
12. Spend more time with God - Doing better with this - I am doing a moms bible study and reading my way through the bible but it's not as consistent as I want it to be, 
13. Read with my kids more
14. Conquer the CHOAS - Thought I was really making progress on this one but the whole one step forward, two back really applies. This week I think it was like five back. I am trying not to get discouraged and still try and move forward. There is so much to do. 
15. Drink more water - This should be easier now that I have given up soda pop. We will see in the next few weeks.
16. F.L.Y - A forever work in progress.

Gluten Free Journey

So our journey started on March 4th, twenty six days ago. I remember this because March 3rd was my birthday and we went to Red Lobster. I had the pasta because I knew I wouldn't be eating out again. So our experiment has become a journey, why? Because we have seen enough changes to really not want to go back.

I must admit I did cheat a week into it but I have been good since then. Lucas has done well and lost 15lbs (as I read this back to him, he informed me it is 20lbs now. Can we say brat?) already with just a few changes, I however have not been so lucky. The boys are adjusting. It is definitely a journey.

Some Things I have discovered

1. I miss bread. I need to find a good recipe.
2. Gluten free pasta is not as bad as I thought it would be. Winco sells several in their bulk foods section.
3. Winco sells several gluten free items in their bulk food items
4. Wheat is in taco seasoning. McCormicks is okay.
5. Hard tacos are not as good as soft tacos - need to find a recipe for soft tortillas
6. Gluten free brownies are the bomb.
7. Gluten free brownies have ALOT of sugar in them.
8. Gluten free items can be found with other items in the store and are often quite a bit cheaper than the ones in the gluten free isle.
9. Just because it's gluten free doesn't mean I should eat it. 
10. Did I say I miss bread. I had tuna and crackers the other day and I was really wishing for some good ole white bread. 

So we continue on this journey, hoping for more positive changes down the road. I am also cutting out soda pop. Apparently diet soda kill brain cells? I really need to keep the few brain cells I have left. Oh and cutting back on sugar, thats going to be a fun one - NOT.

Laundry

A few years ago a friend of mine wanted me to try her all natural homemade laundry detergent. I kindly declined. I have the brand of laundry detergent that I use and I was happy with it. Why change?

Early in my marriage to save money we would buy what ever was on sale, as long as the clothes came out clean it really did not matter. Powder detergent was a pain so we stick to liquid. When I was pregnant with Timmy I broke out in hives due to the laundry detergent we were using. We found a well named brand that did not break me out and we decided to stick with it. The downside of this was that the detergent was expensive. I could buy it on sale for 3.99 for 32 loads if I was lucky and I stocked up when I did. If it was not on sale it was $6-$8, so I really hated running out. It would be nice not to have to pay much but why mess with what works.

Fast forward to a few months ago, another friend wanted me to try her all natural laundry detergent that she made. My response was automatic - we don't use powdered detergent. To my surprise she explained that it was a liquid. She had made ten gallons for about 10 dollars. She brought some over and I put it behind my other laundry detergent.

Eventually I ran out of my regular detergent so I gave the homemade stuff a try. I liked the smell and it seemed to work the same. We have been using it for awhile now and honestly no one has noticed a difference between that and the expensive stuff we were buying. So when we started to run out I got the recipe from my friend and made my own.

The recipe can be found here . Liquid Laundry Detergent

The products

Started by grating the fels-naptha soap bar

Added it all together and melted it.

Added it to the bucket then filled it up.

The next day it was this gel stuff. 

The kids had fun with this and now I have 10 gallons of laundry detergent. This has been a success and it also has led me to try making a liquid dishwasher detergent that has also been a success  I will blog on that later. :)

Gluten Free Experiment - Week 1

On Monday we started our gluten free experiment. This week has been interesting to say the least. Some good and some bad. Overall I feel it was very successful and we are already seeing a difference.

Monday -
So I let Lucas cheat today. We had eaten at Red Lobster Sunday night and had some left overs. While we did give half of them away we still had some left over pasta so he took that to lunch. I packed home made lunchables with GF crackers. I am glad the kids liked the crackers, I was worried because I did not like them at all. Of course I did not tell the boys that. Dinner was easy has we just had meat, potatoes and veggies.

Tuesday - 
So all of us are suppose to be on board. My goal is to make this transition as painless as possible. Lunch was similar to yesterday. I did go to Costco and got veggies and fruits that I added to it. We had Tacos for dinner and used corn tortillas. I grabbed a Taco seasoning from the cabinet and discovered it had gluten in it. Seriously? Well I kinda winged it and grabbed for spices. I think I used cayenne pepper, chili seasoning and ground red pepper. No one said anything and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Nathanial even went back for seconds.

We also made brownies that were a big hit are definitely going to have to make them again. Everyone is doing well except Nathanial who is having a hard time adjusting and keeps cheating. I am sure he will get it. We are trying to let him do this on his own but I might have to intervene and talk to his teacher. We did notice at scouts tonight that Timmy's circles under his eyes are fading. This is also the second day that I really didn't feel like I needed a nap.

Wednesday -
Timmy has found his energy again. He is like his old self. I am not sure that it's the changes in the diet or what because nothing else has really changed. He was bouncing off the walls. It was nice seeing him like this again. I made spaghetti with brown rice penne that everyone enjoyed. Nathanial refused to try it but it got packed in his lunch on Thursday. He decided he liked it and will give the other dishes a chance.

Overall - 
It was a good week. Lucas has lost some weight. I was starting to feel better but am either going through withdrawal or getting sick, I haven't been able to decifer which one yet. I get to try to new recipes next week. I am excited.

Gluten Experiment - The beginning

This last weekend we started prepping for Monday the 4th. We sat down and talked to the boys and explained that the whole family was going to be trying this experiment and that we were all going to be guinea pigs for six weeks. So what did we do? We had a pizza party on Friday. I am trying to make it as easy as possible on the boys.

This weekend we made of list of everything that is going on with each one of us. We will put it away and look at it again in six weeks and see if anything has changed. If it has we are better for it, if everything is the same we have tried some new foods so in my opinion we are still better off for it. Really what do we have to lose, (except possibly some weight :).)

Monday went better than expected. The boys have decided that rice crackers are pretty good. Timmy misses his ritz crackers but is adjusting. He went to the boys and girls club today and I had forgotten to talk to them about dinner. I asked if they ate when I picked them up and Timmy said no because he wasn't sure if it was okay to eat. He said he was bummed because it was chicken nuggets. I promised him I would find a recipe for gluten free chicken nuggets.

Overall Monday went well, I am very proud of the boys. Timmy is doing well and Nathanial is trying. I went to costco and bought a bunch of fruit and veggies which the kids love so it will help.

The Writing on the Wall

A few months ago my therapist suggested this thing called a “gluten free” diet. I honestly pretended to listen to what it was about but I know what gluten is. It’s in all my favorite foods, why would I give that up. I am a carb addict. Pasta, bread, muffins, donuts, I love it all. I try and curb my carbs so I don’t gain weight but I have trouble losing it.

The problem is, I have a problem with fatigue and med changes have not helped. My weight loss attempts in the last few years have been very short lived and I am struggling to stay afloat.

Thursday, my therapist asked again if I had considered going gluten free and pointed out that the issues I was having were some of the same my son was having. If I wouldn’t consider trying something that could possible benefit me, would I consider it for him? Friday, my MD asked a very similar question. Both recommended that I pick up the book The Wheat Belly and read it.

Thus the Gluten Experiment as we will call it, begins. I honestly don’t know what to expect or if it will make a difference but we as a family will abstain for the next six weeks. Oh, joy.

Second Guessing a mom?

It started in the delivery room. They were in the process of putting in the epidural (they missed) when I got very sick and started vomiting. When things calmed down they started prepping me again. I looked at the nurse and told her I needed to push. She looked at me and patted me on the shoulder and said it was too soon. They had checked me not too long before that and the baby hadn't dropped yet and I was stuck at 4 cm  She told me that it was going to be a while. I shook my head and told her again I needed to push. Thankfully the doctor putting in the epidural told the nurse to humor me and check again to calm me down. The next thing I knew they were yelling for the doctor.

This was not my first baby. I was here two years ago, I knew what it felt like, my body knew what it wanted to do. I understand that it's not the norm to go from 4 to 10 and have a baby drop in less than 20 minutes. I have learned in my 36 years that things do not always fit in the norm. It would have taken her less time to check than it did to stand there arguing with me. My Timothy was born minutes later. So much for the epidural.

I make it a point to know my kids, I know their quirks. I don't always get it right but I learn for next time. It's all trial and error until you succeed.

I know that it doesn't take much to set Nathanial off when he is having a bad day, sometimes it is better to have him take a nap then start over than to fight through it. I know that when he is having a bad day he will grumble and complain about going to swim practice but I also know that after wards he is in a much better mood and thanks me for taking him. Its better for him to take his aggression out on the water than on others around him. I know his impulsiveness and mood swings frustrate him. I also know that he will learn to harness these and do great things.

I know my Timmy, Tim these days :(, is fun loving, goofy and energetic. I know he would rather be alone than with a group of people. I also know that in spite of this, people gravitate to him. I know that he doesn't like being wrong and he will practice things when no one is looking until he gets it right. I know that he is always looking for more things to learn and this will take him far. I know he will do great things.

So when my fun loving, energetic Tim started wanting to sleep all the time and started getting very irritable I knew this was not him. Something was not right.  We started by making sure he was getting enough sleep. We also started giving him multivitamins. This didn't help. We finally took him to the pediatrician who asked some questions and said it sounded like he was depressed. He did do blood work to rule out stuff like low iron, low vitamin levels, etc.. He also asked if we had thought about seeing a therapist that could prescribe meds. Tim has a therapist who he has seen for the last few years and we have access to a PNP. The ped recommended getting him screened for depression.

I found myself hoping that one of the tests would come back with low iron or a low vitamin d levels or something that was going to be a simple fix. It didn't happen that way. Everything was normal. There was no medical reason that was causing his fatigue. So we made an appointment with his therapist. She did a depression screening and did not agree with the pediatrician. So what was next?

I have several friends that have cut certain foods out of their diet and have seen a day and night difference. Even though we have seen it ourselves, (Red dye make Nathanial really hyper then really irritable, so we avoid it) I would still try not to roll my eyes when they were talking about it. Really, why would I choose to take a whole food and possibly a whole food group out of my child's diet or my own. Even my therapist has been trying to talk me into trying a gluten free diet, what give up my breads and pastas? You have got to be joking. But the last few months I have honestly been wondering if there was something to all these food sensitivity's I keep hearing about.

So back to the problem, Tim is tired most of the time. Timmy is 7. The medical tests came back normal, his therapist does not think he is depressed but he is still tired. When I told the ped what the therapist had said he disagreed. When I asked if it was possible to do a food sensitivity test or refer me to a specialist, I was told that there was proof that foods and diet can cause fatigue. Really? Even if that is what he believes can't he just humor me and send me to someone who does? He doesn't have to pay for it and this mom will sleep much better at night.

I was frustrated and mad. So what do I do when I am frustrated and mad? I pray. I know what depression looks like, I have struggled with it a good part of my life. There is something else to this. While I knew the ped wasn't going to look any farther I knew the Lord was telling me that we weren't done here. Mom's don't always have the answers, even though we make it look like we do but we also don't give up until we find it.

Happy Valentine's Day

I know Valentine's Day is not a holiday but who can resist the pinks and reds and everything else that comes with it. It use to be that I would dress my kids up on a nice day and take them out to take their photos but now bad weather doesn't stop me. I have become quite the prop junkie and am taking a liking to studio photography. One advantages to having three children who love having their photo taken is that they are usually game for anything, even the youngest. I love capturing her expressions. I love that she loves to dress up. She actually found where I keep the tutu's and keeps getting into them. What can I say? Oh yea, let mommy grab her camera. :)                                                                                        

    

Plan Meets Reality - Another Day

Tuesday started out at 530 when Kassie decided to wake up. So I have been up since then. Why do teeth have to hurt so much when they come in. On the plus side Lucas started a load of laundry (I think he needed pants or something) so I started the dishes. I hate that just one bad day (Monday) can turn my whole house upside down. So I decided I was not going to sit down until the boys left for school which is at 715. I was able to do a full load of dishes, clean counters, sweep and make the bed. I was feeling really good about the day, then Kassie started to show that she had been up since 530 and my body reminded me that I have not really slept in a few days so we went back to bed around 8.

What started out as a highly productive day went down hill from there. Apparently one can only go without sleep for so long before it catches up with them. I struggled with a migraine the rest of the day and didn't get much else done however thanks to the burst of energy in the morning it didn't get worse. Some days it's important that things just don't get worse.

Plan Meet Reality

Yesterday while I was going through one of my notebooks I found where I had sketched out what my morning should look like. I just shake my head, true it's what it should look like, how it should flow but seriously what was I thinking.

The Plan

All this is based on a 10pm bedtime.

6-615      Get up/Get dressed to shoes, make bed, clothes to the laundry room and start a load of laundry

615-630  Enjoy a cup of coffee with a bagel/have quiet time

630         Wake the boys up

630-7     Put dishes away/make lunches/gather clothes and pick up bathroom

700        Reboot Laundry/Enjoy another cup of coffee

715        Boys leave for bus stop

730-8    Work out

8-830    Shower/Dressed for the day/finish chores

830-9    Kassie up/Make breakfast/clean up kitchen

9-11      Run Errands, go visit Lucas

12         Lunch

1-3       Kassie down for a nap/more chores/finish laundry

3           Boys home

The Reality

I went to bed at 9 last night, read a little bit and lights were off at 10. Unfortunately for some reason I did not sleep last night. Kassie woke at midnight (I had not fallen asleep yet) then again at 3am. At 3am I had just dozed. I brought her out to the living room until she fell back asleep.

600    
The Alarm goes off, I really just want to throw it across the room, except that I remember that my alarm is my kindle fire and I am quite fond of it so I don't. I do however turn it off and roll back over.

615    
Kassie wakes up and starts kicking me. She is never up this early, not a good sign.

625
Pour a cup of coffee, wondering how many cups I am going to need today. Make the boys lunch, I know once I sit down to drink my coffee it doesn't look good for anything else.

630
Wake the boys up, thankful it was not a battle this morning. I would let them sleep but they have to leave to catch the bus at 715. I used to walk them down to the bus stop but Kassie is usually still asleep right now.

700
The boys are dressed and ready to go, I am blogging and playing facebook games to try and stay awake. I am exhausted and on my second cup of coffee. I don't think it's going to help today. Kassie looks like she wants to go back to sleep, I think that is a good idea, just have to wait until the boys leave for school.

715
Boys leave. I reset my alarm and head back to bed. I need a reboot today.

730
Back to bed. Set alarm. Kassie goes down pretty easy.

830
Alarm didn't go off (it was set for 9) but I woke up to Kassie handing me things off my night stand. Guess she decided it was time to get up.

830-930
Another cup of coffee, breakfast and some Kassie cuddles. I keep looking at this laundry that needs to get folded and think I might do it today.

945
decide I should get up off the couch, I need to get ready for the day, I have an ortho appt and a dental cleaning. Here goes.

950
Finally head to the shower. I went to get up before and Kassie came and cuddled with me some more. It's really a wonder I get anything done. So much for leaving at 10.

1015
Ready to go, surprised really. Kassie decided to join me in the shower but now we are both dressed and ready to go. I even took the time put on a little make up.

1100
Running late of course. Dropped Lucas off his lunch and Kassie at Charlie's. Got to my appointment 10 mins late but they got me in. Think I hit mostly red lights. Got good news at the ortho. I go back in three weeks to talk about possibly taking my braces off.

1130
Dentist appointment isn't until 12 but really had nothing else to do so I decided to head that way early. Early doesn't happen for me much these days. I figured I could read and relax. Their 11 was a no show so they got me in.

100
Since I was able to get in to the dentist early I picked up Kassie and was home by one. We had pbj's for lunch and laid down.

130-245
Nap - Unfortunantly I never fell asleep. I am exhausted.

3
Dropped Timmy off at Speech and headed back to the ortho. I had something come undone and needed to get it fixed.

425
Went to pick Timmy up only to find him throwing a massive tantrum. I was extremely surprised with myself as I remained calm because calm was not what I was thinking. He had thrown his shoes and coat off and was refusing to do what he was suppose to. Seriously? Not what I wanted to deal with today.

455
Was suppose to have a half an hour to throw dinner in the oven but basically had five minutes. Hope it turns out okay.

520
Late to swim practice, one of these days I will be on time or is that asking too much. I was able to sit and take a breath. Kassie is starting to stay on the bleachers during practice, it's been a journey but I think she is starting to get it.

630
Back at home, surprised that dinner is not burnt. Serve it up and it actually tastes pretty good. Basically I made turkey burger meat loaf. Was very surprised when Kassie ate it, she doesn't eat meat.

So I took it easy the rest of the night. I think I tried to head to bed about 830. Finally dozed about 930. Woke up excited that I slept but then discovered it was only 1130.

Didn't get anything done but that happens somedays. There is always tomorrow right?

My New Year

A new year symbolizes new beginnings. It's a time for evaluation and reflection. Where are we, how did we get here and is the path that we are on still the right one for us. How is it a new beginning when we have traveled this road before. We've stood in this same exact spot, sometimes moving forward just to take a wrong turn and end up at the beginning, other times we stand frozen stuck in time, convinced that doing nothing will maintain the status quo. The problem with that view is that even if we stay still the world around us is always changing, always moving and can leave us in the dust.

So my resolutions?

Some of these goals are the same from last year, and some are new. So how do we survive more than a few weeks with our new goals? We use our goals as a map. We check our map on a weekly basis, or better yet we let someone else hold it and check in with us. We are not designed to travel this world alone and I do not believe any of these journeys or goals that we set are best met alone. We need and are best successful when we surround ourselves with a support system. Even a simple, "Hey how are you doing with your goal?" can mean a world of difference between success and failure. 

So this year I share my goals with my circle. I admit that I cannot do this by myself. I admit that I am tired of standing still and watching the world move forward while I do not. I am tired of the status quo. I want to move forward. I am ready for a change.

P-52

One of my goals for 2013 is to spend more time behind my camera. One would think for a photographer that would be easy but it isn't always that simple. I take photos of my clients and my family but that is usually where it stops. I want to break out of my box. I want to take the next step. So I decided to start a photo challenge. I have been doing a winter challenge for a few weeks and love it.  There are so many to choose from, there is the 365 challenge which I felt would be too much but I could do a photo a week challenge. That is what led me to start up P-52 on Facebook. I am excited to get started.

The first week's theme was to do a self-portrait. This is something I struggle with as I do not feel that I am photogenic but I put aside my insecurities and did it anyway. I deleted several right off the bat and ended up with this one. Not sure what the other themes are going to be as they are being decided right now but I am ready.