It started in the delivery room. They were in the process of putting in the epidural (they missed) when I got very sick and started vomiting. When things calmed down they started prepping me again. I looked at the nurse and told her I needed to push. She looked at me and patted me on the shoulder and said it was too soon. They had checked me not too long before that and the baby hadn't dropped yet and I was stuck at 4 cm She told me that it was going to be a while. I shook my head and told her again I needed to push. Thankfully the doctor putting in the epidural told the nurse to humor me and check again to calm me down. The next thing I knew they were yelling for the doctor.
This was not my first baby. I was here two years ago, I knew what it felt like, my body knew what it wanted to do. I understand that it's not the norm to go from 4 to 10 and have a baby drop in less than 20 minutes. I have learned in my 36 years that things do not always fit in the norm. It would have taken her less time to check than it did to stand there arguing with me. My Timothy was born minutes later. So much for the epidural.
I make it a point to know my kids, I know their quirks. I don't always get it right but I learn for next time. It's all trial and error until you succeed.
I know that it doesn't take much to set Nathanial off when he is having a bad day, sometimes it is better to have him take a nap then start over than to fight through it. I know that when he is having a bad day he will grumble and complain about going to swim practice but I also know that after wards he is in a much better mood and thanks me for taking him. Its better for him to take his aggression out on the water than on others around him. I know his impulsiveness and mood swings frustrate him. I also know that he will learn to harness these and do great things.
I know my Timmy, Tim these days :(, is fun loving, goofy and energetic. I know he would rather be alone than with a group of people. I also know that in spite of this, people gravitate to him. I know that he doesn't like being wrong and he will practice things when no one is looking until he gets it right. I know that he is always looking for more things to learn and this will take him far. I know he will do great things.
So when my fun loving, energetic Tim started wanting to sleep all the time and started getting very irritable I knew this was not him. Something was not right. We started by making sure he was getting enough sleep. We also started giving him multivitamins. This didn't help. We finally took him to the pediatrician who asked some questions and said it sounded like he was depressed. He did do blood work to rule out stuff like low iron, low vitamin levels, etc.. He also asked if we had thought about seeing a therapist that could prescribe meds. Tim has a therapist who he has seen for the last few years and we have access to a PNP. The ped recommended getting him screened for depression.
I found myself hoping that one of the tests would come back with low iron or a low vitamin d levels or something that was going to be a simple fix. It didn't happen that way. Everything was normal. There was no medical reason that was causing his fatigue. So we made an appointment with his therapist. She did a depression screening and did not agree with the pediatrician. So what was next?
I have several friends that have cut certain foods out of their diet and have seen a day and night difference. Even though we have seen it ourselves, (Red dye make Nathanial really hyper then really irritable, so we avoid it) I would still try not to roll my eyes when they were talking about it. Really, why would I choose to take a whole food and possibly a whole food group out of my child's diet or my own. Even my therapist has been trying to talk me into trying a gluten free diet, what give up my breads and pastas? You have got to be joking. But the last few months I have honestly been wondering if there was something to all these food sensitivity's I keep hearing about.
So back to the problem, Tim is tired most of the time. Timmy is 7. The medical tests came back normal, his therapist does not think he is depressed but he is still tired. When I told the ped what the therapist had said he disagreed. When I asked if it was possible to do a food sensitivity test or refer me to a specialist, I was told that there was proof that foods and diet can cause fatigue. Really? Even if that is what he believes can't he just humor me and send me to someone who does? He doesn't have to pay for it and this mom will sleep much better at night.
I was frustrated and mad. So what do I do when I am frustrated and mad? I pray. I know what depression looks like, I have struggled with it a good part of my life. There is something else to this. While I knew the ped wasn't going to look any farther I knew the Lord was telling me that we weren't done here. Mom's don't always have the answers, even though we make it look like we do but we also don't give up until we find it.
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